Stage 21: Montereau-Fault-Yonne - Paris Champs-Élysées 164km

The final stage is upon us. Actually, it's over. The whole damn thing's over and I get to have my life back. This is good, but at the same time it's horrible. Not because I'll miss 24/7 cycling (because god, I will), but instead because it means that the main cycling event is over. We'll all go through post-Tour withdrawal and depression. But, at least we had this last stage (a replay of which I am watching on Versus as I'm typing this up). And like so many other years it was a mesh of boring crap and an exciting finish.

I know there are plenty of people who like the boring crap. They like celebrating on bikes. They like the goofing off. And sure, it's cute. But I wish I'd been watching cycling when the last day mattered for more than just a sprint. I remember cheering people on, knowing full well that there'd be no way in hell that they'd get the time they needed, but desperately wanting them to anyway. Hell, I'll be honest, I definitely wished Armstrong would crash so that Wiggins could end up getting third. I'm not proud of wishing a crash on someone, but, damn it, I don't like Armstrong.

Speaking of Armstrong, though (and I know, for someone who hates him, I sure talk about him a lot – that's because the whole fucking cycling world seems to be in love with him, or at least most of them), I was not impressed with his use of stage 21 to conduct business. Now, I'm not 100% certain that's what he was doing, but he was certainly chatty as they rode toward Paris. Does he really think people are stupid enough to join his team? Probably. Do I think they are? Fuck yes. Just hopefully not the Schleck brothers. I'm not their biggest fans, but they'd have to be idiots to join Team Radio Shack (and the next person who says Shack Attack is going to get punched in the face). But, yeah, I was not impressed with Armstrong chatting everyone up. He's not the TDF winner and yet he gets 90% of the attention, it's bullshit.

Of course, this was the Tour de Armstrong, right? Wait, what? You mean Armstrong didn't win anything? You mean he only finished third? You're kidding, right? Oh, I forgot. There are 198 OTHER cyclists racing the tour (well, there were when it started) and all we can talk about is Armstrong? I was watching the final stage and there were cyclists racing that I forgot were even at the Tour. Why? Because all people ever talk about is Armstrong this, Astana that, blah blah blah. It gets really old really fast and we're back to the pre-retirement days when it was like no one else existed except a chosen few cyclists who were deemed worthy, and everyone else they talked about just "happened" to win stages.

Now, I know what you're thinking, Versus talked about Columbia and Garmin. They interviewed loads of other cyclists, like people from Lotto, SaxoBank, and Cervelo. Which is fine. I mean, who doesn't like Fabian Enchilada* Cancellara? But the rest of the time they just fall over talking about how much they love Armstrong. There were some stages when I actually turned my music up so I didn't have to listen to their fanboy love. The worst, of course, was the evening programming on Versus. There's nothing worse than listening to Bob and the other guy whose name I can NEVER remember (figured it out: Craig Hummer) try to call a race. Bob can be funny sometimes, but ugh. I'd like some non-biased reporting. I don't mean anti-American (because I love listening to Dave Harmon and Sean Kelly get all giddy about British cyclists doing well), I just mean not as much pro-Armstrong.

Apparently I have a lot of rant built up in me, so I think it's time to go back to talking about the stage. Despite all my bitching, the end of the stage was really fucking brilliant. I started out rooting for anyone but Cav, but that didn't last because there were plenty of people I didn't want to win. I ended up picking Haussler, because you know me. Of course, it wasn't to be. What happened was amazing. Garmin decided to try something different and they were giving Tyler Farrar a great lead out and the other teams had mostly boxed Cavendish's Columbia lead out in and then ... BAM. George Hincapie shifts the line of the Columbia train and suddenly they're leading. And then there's Mark Renshaw. There is not bigger stud in today's stage.

Mark roared ahead of everyone else, leading out Cav and it was amazing. He took a corner ahead of Garmin and the rest of the peloton and that was what gave him that extra kick. Mark was going so hard that I wasn't sure if he'd be able to get out of the way in time. But he did and Cav took off. The best part, even better than the win was the fact that he looked back, so just exactly how big Cav's lead was and he looked back and just knew that Cav was going to win and he was like 'FUCK YEAH' and celebrated before Cav had even crossed the line. It was so hot that I completely forgot I wasn't supposed to be rooting for Cav. I'm watching it again and it's just as beautiful this time. Seriously, Cav is fucking amazing. He's a cocky bastard, but I'll be honest. I love him and against my better judgment, I loved this win.

So, the final stage was exciting. It surpassed my expectations, thank god. Then we had the presentations. Cav got a hilarious gold bird thing for winning the stage. Andy Schleck is kind of adorable in his white jersey. Pellizotti's children kitted out in polka dots were adorable. Thor was lovely and there was a sweet moment when Cav and Thor showed that they didn't really hate each other. And then there was the yellow jersey. I was on the phone with my mom during the stage this morning and when they showed Contador, she was like 'we don't care about him!' and she's so right. I mean, she's not an Armstrong fan, but she doesn't like Contador either.

I can't really care about the GC, except that Andy's hopefully not a doper and I wanted Wiggins on the podium. But none of it matters now because the Tour's over. We'll hear about the positives in the weeks to come, but for now, let's just enjoy the fact that Cavendish is the world's fastest sprinter and that Heinrich Haussler won the stage of the fucking TDF. If only Sylvain had won, then I'd be extra happy.

Well, thanks for joining me as I got my rant on throughout the 2009 Tour. See you all over at my regular cycling blog ... Or if not, see you all next year! Same time, same place.



*for those of you who don't get that, it's a Eurosport joke. Sorry about that. Kind of. Okay, I'm not sorry about it at all. Now go back and finish reading the post.

Stage 20: Montélimar - Mont Ventoux 167km

So, Mont Ventoux. This stage was stuck in there to make sure that the yellow jersey wouldn't be a guarantee on the last couple of days of the tour. At least that was my impression. Of course, it didn't work. Now I know what you're thinking, Contador could have had a bad day. The Schlecks could have been on fire. Armstrong could have worked miracles. You know what, though? You're dead wrong.

As soon as Contador slipped on that yellow jersey, the race was never going to end any other way. I'll be honest, there have been times when I've felt like this was the only way this race was going to end. Maybe I wouldn't find it so irritating if Armstrong had decided to stay retired (the bastard). But come on. For a moment, let's forget my hate and talk about the stage.

It was one hell of a stage, ignoring all the GC bullshit (and that's what it was), it was fun. Mont Ventoux for the sake of being a mountain is utterly brilliant. It's up up up up and then BAM the stage is over. I loved it. What made it almost perfect (as it were) was the fact that the lovely and always (always) adorable former leader of the young rider competition, Ton Martin, was riding extremely hard and it was fucking awesome. I haven't yelled that hard since Haussler and Sylvain were riding their stage together. I desperately wanted Tony to win, but Garate, the Rabobank rider, dropped him and Tony practically killed himself trying and succeeding at getting back. So when they finally got up to the line, he was too spent to even try attacking. Which was so heartbreaking because I really wanted him to win.

Behind the stage winner and second, we were hoping that drama would explode. Turns out that didn't happen. Andy and Alberto decided to try and battle it out and it was ridiculous. Alberto didn't attack for whatever reason and Andy didn't attack and spent half his time waiting for Frank. I'm sorry, I know people like them on the same team together, but what the hell. Frank was holding Andy back. I don't know what would have happened -- maybe the breakaway of two wouldn't have lasted. Maybe the stage would have had a different winner. Though probably Alberto would have still been in yellow. But sadly, we'll never know because Andy Schleck was a stubborn bastard and slightly idiotic.

There's one other thing I want to mention and that's Bradley Fucking Wiggins. Seriously, that guy is amazing. And if it wasn't for Armstrong, he'd be in third (fuck you, Armstrong). Seriously, he's so god damn close to being in third place that it's ridiculous. I had more of a rant yesterday, but I wanted to try to be a bit calmer, since there's no way I'll be unbiased. Like with Gerald on Friday and Tony today, I was desperately trying to will Wiggins to catch up with Armstrong and pass it. It wasn't to be, but thank god he didn't lose his fourth place. It's not as good as third and he should be on the podium. Maybe next year.

Over all, the stage was good fun, even while being seriously aggravating. I'm sad that the tour ends tomorrow, but I'm happy to get my life back. Hopefully the final stage won't be as anticlimactic as in the past.

Stage 19: Bourgoin-Jallieu - Aubenas 178km

I watched this stage on mute at work and I thought about watching it with commentary, but I've gotten be honest, I'm not going to. The result pissed me off, and not just because Armstrong magically gained more time. See, okay, I like Cavendish. I really do, but oh my god. I am so sick of all the Cav vs. Thor bit and I was literally sitting at the desk trying to will Gerald Ciolek to a win. Of course it didn't work. Who was I kidding? It was always going to be Cav in a sprint.

Try as I might, though, I just couldn't bring myself to get excited about the stage. I had a brief thrill when I saw Sylvain was in the break, but I knew in my heart (ha) it wasn't to be. Short of a miracle break tomorrow or perhaps something special on Sunday, I've resigned myself to the fact that Sylvain's not going to win a stage this year. I imagine Quick Step must be extremely disappointed with this year's Tour. I also think they probably made a wrong choice, taking Boonen, but that's a topic for a different time.

I wish I had more to say about this stage, but I don't. Though I do have a bit to add. For example, whoever thought that road split right before the 3k to go banner was a good idea was completely wrong. It was ridiculous and dangerous and I cannot believe there wasn't a single crash (that I know of) . Usually this feeling of apathy is reserved for the Friday before the tour ends, and today was no exception. Though instead of an ITT to look forward to, tomorrow we have that mountain that shall not be named (shut up, I saw HP recently) but first we had to get through today.

Once the break was whittled down to nothing and people were attacking off the front, I had to decide what I was going to root for. Eventually I decided that I wanted the peloton to step up the pace and reel in all the attackers. I like sprints. I wanted a sprint, but I didn't want Cav to win. I don't think he, any more than Thor deserves any more glory. I know that it's not going to happen and I know they'll never behave like grown ups, but I'm allowed to be pissy at them and I am.

Hopefully tomorrow will be high on another sort of drama. I will be waking up at 7 am to find out! Sorry for the crappy post, but I gotta say, the stage wasn't much better.

Stage 18: Annecy - Annecy (ITT) 40.5km

I know that I said I wanted Wiggins to win the time trial, but by the end of the stage, I just wanted the damn thing to be over. Basically, I spent much of the stage hoping to get to see Sylvain (I was in luck, the live Versus stream and then the tv itself, showed him for me). Otherwise, what the hell was that stage. Like I said on Twitter: fuck you, Armstrong, GO BACK TO TEXAS. I’m sorry, but I’m so over his bullshit. There was an interview on Versus yesterday that basically implied that because he saw that Mont Ventoux was back on the route for this year’s tour, even if he hadn’t already come back, that would have been enough to bring him back. So, whatever with your cancer awareness bullshit. Yeah, I think Livestrong is really good for cancer research, but stop pretending that you’re back for reason other than just to see if you’re still good enough.

I suppose, in a way, he’s proved that he is. But I’m so tired of him. If he’s still on the podium in Paris, I don’t even know what I’d do. Like my friend Sarah, my “ideal” (since we know Sylvain won’t ever win the whole thing) podium would probably involve Wiggins, Contador and Andy Schleck. But if I really had to choose from the top ten, instead of the top five, it’d be Wiggins, CVV and maybe Schleck or Contador. But, honestly, ignoring CVV and Wiggins, I cannot honestly say I care about the rest of the top 10. They do nothing for me (well, if Le Mevel were to suddenly be totally awesome, that’d be nice! But I’m not stupid, he is French after all).

Sylvain rounds out the top 20 on GC, which makes me so happy for him. I’d like it if he was higher, but I don’t need to lie to myself. I am happy when he finishes the tour (so, Sylvain, plz to be finishing it!). He also finished 14th on the stage, which is so fucking awesome I don’t even have the words. I am SO proud of him (and he did better than LA, SO TAKE THAT, BUDDY). As for the stage itself. Whatever.

My I’m a bad person, but Contador winning the stage just irked me. The tour is no longer a contest for the yellow jersey. He’s all but wrapped it up which, whatever. I know people are looking forward to Mont Ventoux, but I think they‘re wrong. Anything short of Armstrong sabotaging Contador (I don’t know that he’d do that, but …) and he wins the tour. I just hope that Armstrong’s not on the podium come Sunday. I also feel terrible for Fabian Cancellara. This should have been his stage. But, yet again, a Saxo Bank rider falls just short of the mark. Though this wasn’t as bad as all the crap that’s happened to Columbia. My pick for the stage was David Millar, who came in a very respectable 4th, following by Wiggins in 5th. But, you know, Wiggins is 4th on the tour. FOURTH. He is 11 seconds behind Armstrong. This is not fair and, well, ridiculous. I really, really hope that over the next to days that changes and it’s Wiggins third and Armstrong fourth (or lower).

I know there are lots of people who like Armstrong, but I don’t. I’m not going to pretend not to be biased because I am. I don’t like him and I’d like nothing better than for him to fail completely on Mont Ventoux. I might be a horrible person, but that’s fine. I feel what I feel and I miss the days without Armstrong in the peloton.

Tomorrow will probably suck, unless someone in the break is someone I like. Otherwise everyone will conserve energy for the big mountain on Saturday. Such is the tour.

Stage 17: Bourg-Saint-Maurice - Le Grand-Bornand 169.5km

It’s called the Queen Stage for a reason. It was fucking brilliant. Yeah, the yellow jersey still belongs to Contador, but it was almost worth it to watch Contador and the Schleck brothers work their way up that mountain. Who knew that it would be so dramatic? Who knew that there would be so many time differences between everyone on the course? Probably some people will claim they saw it all coming, but I’m going to tell you that they’re wrong. Sure, they might have said ‘oh, that Fränk Schleck, he’s totally going to win a stage’ but they didn’t know which one. And I’ll be honest, I definitely figured it’d be Andy who won, not Fränk.

But anyway, the stage itself. There was a breakaway that included, among others, KOM leader Pellizotti and my boy, Sylvain Chavanel. Of course, neither of them was ever going to win the stage. Hell, it was only going to be one of the top 10 who would take the win. The Col de Romme and the Col de la Colombière were always going to be the center of any attack and it was no different. What was odd, well not odd but different, was that there were only three riders strong enough to do anything. Others tried, and Contador said in his post-race interview that he desperately wanted Andreas Klöden to get the stage win (which is a whole different story related back to when Armstrong was trying to give Landis the stage win on the same mountain and Klöden attacked and almost took the win, but Armstrong was having none of it and beat Klöden to the finish). It should have been payback, but that was not to be because Klöden, for whatever reason, just couldn’t keep up.

So, in the end, everyone else was dropped except for the two Schleck boys and Contador. Which was especially sad for me, because Wiggins just couldn’t get going. I suppose that’s less fuel for his detractors, because obviously he’s no perfect. But he’ll kick ass tomorrow on the ITT. So the rest of y’all can suck it. The GC did change, though not the yellow. Instead of Armstrong (who lost a bit of time, but did attack as well – there’s apparently some drama here, but I don’t give a fuck about it, so whatever) in second, it’s Contador, Andy Schleck and then Fränk. Not my ideal podium, but not bad either.

I know I should have more to say about the stage. Because it was pretty fun to watch, because it was kind of awesome. But like the previous stages that have ended with Contador in yellow, it felt a bit like déjà vu. It was like this was supposed to happen this way – not that the race was fixed (because, come on, really?), but just that I felt that I’d been there, done that already. But whatever. What’s done is done and tomorrow on the ITT we’ll see just how good people are.

With luck, Wiggins’ll win. But it’s the Tour de France and almost anything can happen (and usually does).

Stage 16: Martigny - Bourg-Saint-Maurice 159km

This was one of those mountain stages that ended up being a breakaway stage instead of a moment of truth stage. I kind of like those, because unexpected things tend to happen. But, to be honest, this stage was mostly unremarkable. I think this was partly because of all the pre-rest day drama. We’ve been so burnt out on yellow jerseys and George Hincapie and Cavendish vs. Hushovd that anything else would just be a disappointment. That’s not to say that this stage was disappointing, far from it. But there was no high drama, as it were.

We did find out a couple of things: Astana, in spite of so-called in fighting, is pretty fucking strong (sigh). They did well to keep Contador safe and show the rest of the competitors which team was in charge. Also, we learned that neither of the Schleck brothers is scared to attack. The other thing we learned is that Contador is going to win the Tour, barring a bad day on any of the next couple of stages.

The important bit, at least to me, was that breakaway. It was really in two parts, the KOM boy, Pellizotti with his two-man breakaway partner, Karpets and then the 16 man breakaway full of chasers. Gomez Marchante (Cervelo Test Team), Van Den Broeck (Silence-Lotto), Voigt (Saxo Bank), Ten Dam (Rabobank), Verdugo, Astarloza, Igor Anton (Euskaltel-Euskadi), Casar (Française des Jeux), Fedrigo, Laurent Lefeve (Bouygues Telecom), Velits (Milram), Moinard (Cofidis), Nicolas Vogondy (Agritubel), Yury Trofimov (Bbox Bouygues Telecom), and Roche and Stephane Goubert (AG2R). These guys were gunning for the win, or in the case of Saxo Bank and Cervelo, they were up there in case their team leaders needed help. What happened was something out of the ordinary.

The break was descending hard and by the time the drama (yes, drama, but not that kind of drama) started, we know they’d probably stick it out. But then came the crash. It was one hell of a crash and poor Jens Voigt had the road (yes, the road) take him out of the Tour. It was possibly one of the worst crashes I have ever seen. See, the thing about Jens is that no matter what, everyone seems to like him. He’s funny, entertaining and he’s so passionate that he’ll just do whatever it takes. But sometimes you just can’t go on and he couldn’t. It was horrible, it was heartbreaking and for several hours, none of us really knew what was going on with him.

Luckily, he’ll be okay eventually. But at the time it was horrible. The stage win felt unimportant, not unlike the stage when the woman was killed. Sometimes there are things that are just more important than a stage win. But there was a stage to be won, and much to my chagrin, none of the riders I picked won. What happened was that Euskaltel-Euskadi’s Astarloza finally got his coveted stage win. It was good tactics and he took the stage in a fantastic victory.

Though the GC didn’t change, I was disappointed because the lovely Tony Martin had a crap day and lost out on the white jersey for good. Tomorrow should be interested because it’s time for some really big mountains. Maybe the GC’ll mix it up a bit. One thing I would like to add is that I’m so proud of Bradley Wiggins and hope he ends up on the podium in Paris.

Rest day: Verbier

The Good:
1. Heinrich Haussler
This one is obvious. I mean, who else would it be? His stage win was brilliant. It was so much fun to watch, even while the tension was killing me. I'm still so very proud of him and so happy that he won. It's great to read interviews with him where he talks about how he lives, in Germany, near where the stage took place and how he was familiar with the roads. I also like how he mentions that he didn't really think he'd win a stage, but the chance was there and so he took it. I also liked that he raced with Sylvain, that he respects him and that he waited, twice, before he realized that Sylvain really wasn't doing that well. That's the sign of a good rider, a smart rider. And like, I said, I love it.

2. Mountains
They haven't given us the best kind of excitement, not that we're really used to, except a bit on Saturday and Sunday. But they have been beautiful, and sometimes that's the kind of thing we really look for on the Tour. The racing can't be 100% exciting all the time and there have to be things that fill up the other space. Sure there are interviews and whatever, but it's the scenery that really makes the Tour so good. I know that both sets of commentators I listen to feel the same way, unfortunately, we don't get all the best pictures most of the time, if only because there are so many commercials.

3. Drama drama
It can't be a Tour without some sort of drama and the 96th tdf is no exception. In this case it's infighting, between members of Astana, between Astana and Columbia, and between Columbia and Garmin. Cervelo sprinters vs Columbia sprinters. Who knew that the TDF would be like high school? While I put this in the good side of the list, it's also in the bad, but more specfiic. What drama does is make things on the road even more interesting. We're lucky that it hasn't, at least not yet, causes any real damage. Mostly it's all a result of things that happened which is just fine with me. It's way more fun this way.

4. Jersey competitions
When did these things get so exciting? First it was KOM switching every day or two. Then it suddenly Cav and Thor were fighting over Green. Now Tony's trying to get back into white, which Andy Schleck took from him. And then there's the yellow jersey. While it hasn't changed that much, it's come awfully close. I forgot what this kind of TDF could be like -- and to be honest, I can't really remember a TDF I've seen that's been so wild when it came to all the jerseys. I mean, there've been green jersey fights (Baden Cooke vs the rest of the sprinters) and KOM (Rasmussen vs other climbers) and white jersey (Thomas Voeckler losing everything). But all there in one TDF? Awesome. I know it could be better, closer, but that doesn't mean it isn't fun, BECAUSE IT IS.

5. Bradley Wiggins
I was going to talk about how awesome the breakaways are, but fuck that, man. I want to talk about how much I love Bradley Wiggins (and how much I would LOVE HIS BOOK, argh, maybe I'll go have B&N order it for me). Moving on. I think Brad is so awesome. I am really, really happy for him. I know people have been talking shit about him and possibly doping, but I cannot believe that. I know he's worked really, really hard and lost a lot of weight and he's trained himself to ride in the mountains. There've been a couple of interviews with him where he talked about how lazy he's been in the past and how he's finally applying himself. I really, really hope he ends up on the podium. I know he's not going to win, but wouldn't that be just fucking brilliant? Yeah, it would.

The Bad:
6. Security
I don't know what else to say. Two riders got shot during the race. SHOT. How the hell does this happen? Of course, this is such a public event, how do you stop people from doing shit like this? How do you keep people from tripping up cyclists on the road. But at the same time, there have been fans who have helped cyclists as well. But we never remember that, because the bad tends out outweigh the good. It's all ridiculous, but two riders being shot NEVER should have happened.

7. A death at the tour
I don't have much to say about this because basically it's the worst possible thing to happen. There are two lessons to be learned. First is that everyone at the tour, regardless of if they are fans or police or cyclists, HAS to be care. Second, something has to be done about the fans getting in the way. This was the worst thing that could have happened at the tour, even worse that doping positives, but at the same time, she crossed the road at the wrong time. So, something not right if they're not educating people on how to behave at such big stage races. I truly hope this will never happen again.

8. Hincapie drama
Out of control, out of line. I've basically said all I want to say on this in an earlier post. But come on. No favors at the Tour. No one's going to be nice to you just because you're a nice guy or you think you deserve it. Also, holding grudges doesn't do ANYONE any good. Get over it, George. I like you a lot, but grow up. This is a bike race, not high school romance.

9. Cav/Thor feud
Again, let's grow up. Here's my take on things: Thor is bitter because Cav is basically faster than he is. Cav lets himself get drawn into ridiculous feuds. Cav does something that's possibly, but not 100%, questionable. Thro completely overreacts and throws a hissy fit. Cav says stuff in the press. Thor says stuff in the press. Now they hate each other because all sprinters are divas. Boys, either kiss and make up or do something. This name calling shit has GOT to stop.

10. Sylvain Chavanel
My baby broke my heart, but I'm okay with it. I know what happened, I know he didn't have the power. I know I desperately wanted him to win. I know that I adore him no matter what. I also know that if anyone other than Haussi had won the stage, I'd be so angry. I liked that he never gave up, that he gave everything he had. This is why I love cycling. This is why I adore Sylvain. Never give up, bb. NEVER. But even so, it's really fucking depressing to watch your second favorite cyclists hit a wall and crumple under it. Maybe he'll try something this last week, but maybe not. Oh, SYLVAIN.

Stage 15: Pontarlier - Verbier 207.5km

So, then that happened.

As I said to several people, the stage was exciting but at the same time it was predictable. It was almost as if I was experience deja vu. I wanted to be like 'didn't this already happen?' only have I no idea where or when. There was a breakaway with some promise, but as mountain stages go, you knew it wasn't going to last. There were bright spots, Simon Spilak, Ryder Hesjedal, and Fabian Cancellara in the breakaway. But, no matter how much effort they put in, they were doomed. And that's exactly what happened.

The final climb of the, all 8.8k of the Verbier, was not long, but it was always going to create problems for the riders. Maybe, though not me, expected it to be Armstrong who surged ahead. I was with those who imagined that Contador would be the one to step it up for Astana. I was hoping, especially when wee adorable Simon Spilak attacked (and he was justly rewarded with most aggressive rider), that something magical would happen. Of course I was wrong. And that's about when Contador attacked.

I know that in previous tours with Armstrong, they'd talk about how easy it looked. Well, I've to tell you that they're so fucking wrong. Watching Contador climb makes it look like anyone could do it. He flows up the hill and it's like he's not even breaking a sweat. He almost reminds me of watching Roger Federer play tennis. You know he's putting shit loads of effort into it, but you cannot for the life of you see that on his face. It's simply amazing and while I might not like him, his effort is one of a kind. If he's not doping, he really is fucking amazing.

Once he attacked, no one else was ever going to win the stage. Try as he might, the adorable Andy Schleck went after him, but never managed to catch up with him. In the end, he had to ride by himself, caught in no man's land behind Contador, but in front of his brother and two others. It was a valiant effort that landed him in fifth place, 2:26 behind Contador – the new yellow jersey. But what was even more important to me was the group with Andy's brother, Fränk. That group, who were trying to catch up with Andy, but never managed to, was composed of three riders: Fränk Schleck, Vincenzo Nibali and ... Bradley Wiggins! Of all the cyclists to ever ride the tour, it was Bradley fucking Wiggins who was riding his ass off. God, he was awesome.

Oddly enough, there were several more attacks after Fränk, Nibali and Wiggo went. Sastre had ridden himself out of trouble ended up coming in sixth (Nibali was 3rd, Fränk 4th and Wiggins 5th) after nearly dropping out of contention completely. Behind him was Cadel Evans (surprise!) who I totally thought had been dropped repeatedly, then Andreas 'I'm the only rider on Astana Sarah even pretends to care about' Klöden in eight and then ... Lance Armstrong. Yes, Armstrong was dropped by everyone, even his own teammate(s)! Bloody fucking brilliant, if you ask me. Also, I totally believe that, until he finished today's stage, he completely overestimated his fitness and the other riders in the peloton, including Contador. It was, well, great to see. I'm a bitter, grudge-holding fan, what can I say? A little schadenfreude never hurt anyone.

So, wow does the current GC look? It'll blow your mind, I promise. Here they are:

1 Alberto Contador Velasco (Spa) Astana 63:17:56
2 Lance Armstrong (USA) Astana 0:01:37
3 Bradley Wiggins (GBr) Garmin - Slipstream 0:01:46
4 Andreas Klöden (Ger) Astana 0:02:17
5 Andy Schleck (Lux) Team Saxo Bank 0:02:26
6 Rinaldo Nocentini (Ita) AG2R La Mondiale 0:02:30
7 Vincenzo Nibali (Ita) Liquigas 0:02:51
8 Tony Martin (Ger) Team Columbia - HTC 0:03:07
9 Christophe Le Mevel (Fra) Française des Jeux 0:03:09
10 Fränk Schleck (Lux) Team Saxo Bank 0:03:25
11 Carlos Sastre Candil (Spa) Cervelo TestTeam 0:03:52
12 Christian Vande Velde (USA) Garmin - Slipstream 0:03:59
13 George Hincapie (USA) Team Columbia - HTC 0:04:05
14 Cadel Evans (Aus) Silence - Lotto 0:04:27
15 Maxime Monfort (Bel) Team Columbia - HTC 0:04:38

Yeah, I wasn't kidding. I know you see Armstrong there in second and think, OMG HE MIGHT DO IT. But you know what? You're wrong. Absolutely wrong. Plus the best thing about the top 3? BRADLEY FUCKING WIGGINS. I know there were other things to talk about, like Nibali pushing into second in the young riders and Andy Schleck ousting Tony Martin (SADFACE) into third for the lead in the same competition. Or the fact that Astana is back in full force, but in the race lead and the team competition. But, whatever. Bradley Wiggins is in third place and if he stays there and Armstrong doesn't win the tour? I might even be happy about the results.